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It won’t be comfortable—consider yourself nursing a monthlong hangover as we transition out of the fun-loving, messy-bitch energy of the Star Cat and into the hardworking, criticizing hands of the Virgin. Want to know how to survive Virgo season with your edges still intact? The key is to do a little post-spring cleaning, lock down that self-care routine, and don’t let yourself overanalyze everything.
The good news is, since Virgo is an Earth sign along with sensual Taurus and driven Capricorn, you can’t help but be more grounded than you have been since we left Taurus in May. You will undoubtedly feel the need to . . . get your shit together, so to speak, particularly in efforts to bring organization, clarity, and concrete action toward what matters most to you. So basically you’ll start using iCalendar—congrats! Virgo is also a mutable sign—shouts out to fellow mutables Gemini, Sagittarius, and Pisces—which means the season of this sign will include the push for adaptability and the need to fix or perfect the world around us! The tough news is that we’ll be entering the season with Mars, Saturn, Pluto, Uranus, Neptune, and Chiron in retrograde, demanding that we come to a place of resolve from past issues and forgive ourselves, which may be both incredibly easy and difficult in deeply reflective Virgo. Thankfully, it’s a perfect opportunity to plant seeds for a glow up!
The pile of clothes you’ve been hoarding on The Chair in the corner of your room will finally be folded. If you haven’t been to the gym since you bought the membership eight months ago, you could start hitting that treadmill and drinking some green shit because Virgo rules health and wellness. Be sure to focus on centering yourself in control of the body and mind, rather than obsessing over unattainable beauty standards and fad diets. This sign has a tendency to be both obsessive and overly self-critical, including of the exterior self, and ain’t nobody got time for that with all these planets in retrograde, honey. Speaking of self-care, you might consider using the 15 Korean skincare products you drunk-purchased, even the essence, whatever the @%#* that is. To maintain their flawless presentation without losing their minds, members of this sign need a lot of time in solitude to reflect and dream, face mask on and book in hand. Virgo is an insanely calculated energy (like how else would Bey put together that Coachella performance?), and you will be riding these vibes for a whole month, so hold your wig down and be as careful and nurturing with yourself as you can while navigating the flood of perfectionist, all-too-real thoughts. This could be a formative time to identify people and projects that are no longer serving you, but beware of thought-paralysis and pushing away people who love you and want to help you! Don’t get too caught up in the details to see the big picture; allow yourself to receive, and you will slayyyyyy Virgo season.
J O R D A N
1. Jada Pinkett-Smith — She’s wise, isn’t aging, and I could listen to her talk all day.
2. Prince Harry — He’s the fun one and really feeds into my Bill Weasley fantasy.
3. Zendaya — If I had felt this self-assured at her age, I wouldn’t need to pay my therapist for all of my bullshit.
4. Bobby from Queer Eye — NO ONE WORKS AS HARD AS THIS MAN. FIGHT ME.
5. Lisa Vanderpump — This woman is a saint and meticulously calculated. I aspire.
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